I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
