hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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