Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
