I think I won the penis lottery.
i was born a porn star she said
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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