Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
