dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
