A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
