I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
