exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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