You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
