I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
