Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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