Nicole vs. Life
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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