I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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