Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
