we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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