I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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