you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
