Pappa wants mamma naked
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
