i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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