Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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