Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
