Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
