Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
