i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
