You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
