Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
