i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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