I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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