I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
