; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
