I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
