I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
