Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
