my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sorry my hands just texted you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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