Acid is not a monday night drug
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
