in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
