so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
