You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
