why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
