I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
