dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
