In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
lets start a swedish sibling band together
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
