we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
