i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
