I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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