This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
