Already got asked if we're dating
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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