Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
