Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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