it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
