Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
