I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
