He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
