um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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